Deadpan without the cake face.

William S. Burroughs told me I have three weeks left after this next Wednesday.

The concern over crusty rubber in my mouth transferred to the broken rubber encasing the sweat, blood, and dried skin that I depend on to take the next step.

The water was two dollars, letting me know that 2016 has come for me swinging.

Maybe that’s what the black cat was there for, maybe it wasn’t the lack of lightning I strove for, but was unable to attain.

The old fashioned donuts weren’t the right choice, I should have chosen to be hypnotized.

The talking won’t stop, and the looks are grayer than I had once thought.

Unable to look at the smoke directly, the ash won’t leave my side and the veil is temporarily broken by the subway man asking me if I’m okay.

I can’t say what I want to say, so I say I’m okay. Is this wrong? Will I look back on this and laugh or wish that I was back to where I am?

Remind me of what to do. Slit my throat as I walk past the coffee clad man with the hopes of being hit by a car, into the building that has tried for so long to turn me into the person that I don’t want to be.

Walking with wet feet, children make the noises of birds that I don’t recognize. Pumpkin, go help your mother. I walk faster, scaring the ants into the crevices that they hold dear, I hope it isn’t her.

The men in orange can’t help me now. That’s the problem, it depends, with writing things that no one was there to see. Walking in, met with dried red greetings, I am hit with conversation that I don’t want to be apart of.

I can’t help but stare at the glowing screen wishing I was in the glowing bunks of anger, I can’t help but think of all the people I don’t want, wanting me to think it’s the other way around.

The silenced taps are halted by a red bar and the smacking and sighing and the grumble of the stomach I wish I didn’t have, and for what?

I can’t help but wish that lettuce would come out the nose holes of the ones I can’t handle, and I can’t stop because that would make this all real. I can’t look, I can’t worry, I can’t help you, I’m not stuck, I can’t stop.